July 18, 2004
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What do you do when you're feeling lonely?
So yes I got upset at something this morning. and my bad mood lasted the entire day.
I was really edgy through dinner. I think my mom noticed that something was wrong but our relationship has evolved to the stage where we only talk about pleasant things so as not to offend each another. It was ok, I coped without losing it. But still I needed an outlet.
I discovered that now, when I feel lonely or unsettled, I get this desperate urge to spend money, to buy new stuff. Buy buy buy. It's like I fervently believed that my new purchases can fill this emptiness I'm feeling. I carve the feeling of walking out of a store with armloads of shopping bags. So every store my mom and I went into I was pulling out clothes to take to the fitting room. I tried on every pair of shoe that I found mildly interesting looking. I was a shopaholic on the prowl looking for feed.
Thank god the big sales were on and all the clothes were spewed across the tables like unwanted merchandise. And I hate picking through stuff so I only ended with a top. ONE. Minimal damage on the clothes front.
But after I parted with my parents I passed by the HMV store and remembered that they were having a DVD sale. So up to the 3rd floor I went and combed the sales rack. 20 new movies in 15 minutes. Not bad.
But it didn't hit me until I entered the subway station for my ride home. I made a beeline for the convenience store looking for something to buy. Gum? Do I need gum? A magazine for the road? Water?? Diet coke??? This was when I caught myself. Ai. This really was too much. I've become a faithful follower of the retail therapy cult.
Not that I think it worked as I'm still angry. Boo.
Maybe this track will calm me down:
Comments (3)
retail therapy does work and not just for ladies. im a true believer of splashing out when im not happy or i smoke myself to death....whats better than spending loads on ur own is spending with a friend! so next time ur pissed give me a call...i could do with 20 new dvd titles! i did the same at hmv on sat, but only ended up with one movie!
damn stel - 20 DVDs. however, you were watching totoro, which is one of my favorites, so i think it's money well spent...ha! but you know, i understand what you mean. i go through random spurts like that - the shopping-as-therapy thing. thankfully, it doesn't happen too often, because i certainly cannot afford that on my piddly wages. the funny thing is, when i am feeling that way, i'll talk myself out of spending my money on clothes and entertainment purchases, but when it comes to food....i have no problems. *sigh* food.
Aaaah.. retail therapy. I find that clothes has a less lasting effect than say, electronices, or kitchenware. But you know what? I know it sounds cheezy, but a movie, a good movie, always puts me back on track. Catharsis..
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