October 6, 2005

• My mother is really good at making me cry

  
  

  i've been sleeping really poorly the entire week, nightmares after nightmares hounding me

  
  

  last night was particularly bad - i dreamt that i threw myself off a building, landing on my back.  i couldn't move

  
  

  my mom's face appeared over mine, worried "aiya, you broke all your bones! and look at this mess! who's going to clean up?" she walked away

  
  

  "am i a bloody mess?" i was worried, but couldn't lift my neck to see

  
  

  i lied there, silent, waiting to die

  
  

  my dad walked over. i heard him ask my mom, his voice slightly muffled "why did she land on her back?  if she jumped out of the building wouldn't she land on her front?"

  
  

  "how the hell would i know" i grumbled to myself.  i couldn't touch my nose, but pretty sure it was intact 

  
  

  i lied there, silent, waiting to slip into unconsciousness 

  
  

  and waited

  
  

  * * * * *

  
  

  There's quite a bit more to that dream, but in case you're interested, no i didn't end up dying. 

  
  

  i called my mom today, told her about my dream last night and she sighed

  
  

  "aiya momie didn't mean to neglect you, i've just been really busy recently"

  
  

  and right on cue, PING! tears started welling up in my eyes

  
  

  that's probably why i've been having nightmares... that coupled with heavy guilt for not spending enough time with my parents and fearing that they're getting old and i'm running out of time...

  
  

  feeling slightly lighter now.  hopefully that means no nightmares tonight

  
  

  * * * * *

  
  

  POTD

  
  

  did i tell you that i once made my brother run away with me?

  
  

  we didn't get v far (too scared) but my parents were so worried that i branded myself a bad kid for a long long time

  
  

  photo source: http://www.stevemccurry.com

  
  

  | Download of the day: Black eyed peas - Don't lie |

  • 8:10 am
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